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Since The Worst Horse's readers are so good at letting us know about all things Dharmic -- dubiously so, and not -- we just had to follow up when a reader recently let us know about the existence of a particular pair of Buddhism-inspired women's underwear. Turns out these nicely-designed (and yes, somewhat revealing) underthings were the work of one very clever, committed, and talented Buddhist designer based in Colorado: Erica Gagne.
Erica, super-smart and thoughtful, has plenty more up her T-shirt sleeves. She recently talked with the Horse about why and how she does what she does.
TWH: You know, it's funny:
I was thinking just the other day about the Riot Grrl movement and how
it had pretty much vanished without a trace (not so much in influence, but in name). Then,
someone sent the Horse a link to the Dharmagrrl site. I was surprised and pleased to
see that DGD's name makes a kind of positive reference to the potency of that
movement. Do you feel some kind of connection to Riot Grrl? What's the
story behind your name?
EG: Actually, you're the first person to make the connection to the riot grrl movement, or at least the first to mention it to me. I came of age in the 80's and that energy was definitely in a lot of things. I love the mix of strong and girly, and I love anything that pushes boundaries. And the East Coaster in me loves anything that's in your face.
That's how I see the practice, and it's how I see dharma: it's not about creating the perfect sanctuary with incense
and candles where everything is "bliss." It's about life, as it is,
unapologetic and intense, in a very beautiful way. Riot Grrl is also
embodied in many of my friends, and those friendships are always my
greatest teachers. Compassionately and brutally honest. "Dharmagrrl"
came from that.
You
mention on the site that you came to the Dharma having led a "pretty
crazy and adventurous life." Can you talk a little more about what's
meant by that, and if/how the Dharma has helped you to balance things
in your life?
I
came to meditation first, and dharma second, when I was getting sober 11
years ago. A very dear friend was one of the pioneers of the American
TM movement and he thought that meditation would help me in my new
sobriety, what with all the anxiety and insanity that getting sober can bring out.
About four years later during a difficult period, another friend brought
me into an Insight meditation sangha and that transformed my life.
Living in the world is always a struggle; finding balance. I have a
day job, besides Dharmagrrl, and maintaining all the things that keep
me present and sane is my biggest challenge. Dharmagrrl came about,
especially the "Just Sit" designs, as a way to recommit and remind
myself of the basics, like: no excuses, no head trips, just sit.
The "Just Sit" shirt
A
few years ago I moved to Colorado to study Buddhism academically. Man,
all that thinking made my sitting practice almost non-existent.
Ironically, through Dharmagrrl I am working back to a somewhat
consistent practice. "Just Sit" is my mantra.
What was it about Buddhism and meditation that worked for you as you were trying to get sober?
I found that the dharma was a true compliment to the principles of recovery, and that it took me deeper into
that journey of transformation. I was challenging my old ways of thinking
and acting. Buddhism came to me at a low point: suffering was easy; it
was learning to live with integrity and grace that was difficult. And
Buddhism allowed me to take a deeper look at my life and the obstacles
I create that can block my own right living. Luckily, some beautiful friends turned me on to it
when I needed it most.
What's your design background?
Commercial art drop-out. I used to design jewelry, and I always try to maintain some creative outlet in my life.
So is DGD your first venture into actually selling your designs?
In
this form, yes. It's my first time outwardly expressing my
spirituality, which I tend to keep pretty personal. However, other
creative endeavors were often "action as meditation." I found that making jewelry, for example,
can be very meditative.
The
DGD site very smartly reminds people not just to "wear it," but to "live
it." Do you find that to be a challenge even for
yourself? Is it hard to do what you do and keep up your practice, or
are you good at integrating the two?
Living it is always
the challenge. And too often the dharma is all bundled up in a cute and
cuddly package with the emphasis on the external world, not the
interior. I felt the real juice of practice was not being represented. Dharma
is edgy and fierce before any clarity or serenity can find a home
inside oneself. Not that serenity and joy aren't a part of it, but I
can't help but wonder about all the frustrated practitioners, wearing their Buddha shirts, and waiting on
their pillow for nirvana -- thinking, "the space is
right but I'm still not 'right.'"
What happens when we sit face to face
with ourselves and all our hang-ups? For me, such meetings are rarely
warm and fuzzy. It takes a warrior to transform. A t-shirt isn't going
to evolve us. Which in some way makes me a contradiction since clearly, I like them. I make them! But I think they can be a reminder, or a
wake-up call, to what is important. It has been that way for me, anyway. If
someone else can see the message in a shirt, or whatever, and get back to basics in their practice, then
it has some benefit. I think of it as a sort of dharma Adbusters.
Lots
of Buddhists stress not getting caught up in "spiritual materialism."
In contrast, you write on the site that "Dharmagrrl designs is the
material expression of my spiritual journey and inner revolution." Have some people had a hard time
understanding your motives? Do people pass negative judgments some
times? (I'm assuming that people's overall reaction to what you're
doing is quite positive. I hope it is!)
So many
things can be an expression of our practice. For me, I am very visual
and love to create, even if it's painting a room in my home or planting
trees in the yard with my partner Joe. I struggle with the fact that I'm making more
"stuff" for an already full planet. Again, balance comes into play. I
also believe we create to share our journey and our message. I struggle
with the spiritual materialism that makes up so much of Western
spirituality.
One of the things that drew me to the Insight community
was their simplicity: Just a pillow and me is all I need. That, and a teacher
to keep my head straight.
So far I have only had good feedback, mainly
from people who share the same intense passion for transformation and
dharma, as well as a similar sense of humor, I suppose. However, I would
never want to cross a line into disrespecting symbols or teachers, and
would hope that someone would call me out if I ever did.
From looking at the site, it seems you're philosophically aligned with Noah Levine and his DharmaPunx movement. Is that true?
I
am a fan of Noah and the movement. I think he definitely expresses the
grit and reality of practice in a way that is easy to embrace,
especially those of us with a rebellious streak. Coming from my own youth --
where anger, rebellion and fear fueled a lot of my reactions to the
world -- his message resonates deeply. There are 84,000 ways to hear the
dharma, and he tuned into a very powerful one.
My only concern with any
movement is that the "movement" and the things that connect us
can become more important than practice and can be an obstacle to hearing
the dharma. I am not much of a "joiner" of any group for that reason,
and that can be its own obstacle. I have not personally had that
experience of DharmaPunx as a movement or sangha. I do find it really
refreshing and inspiring.
Given
the existence (and presentation) of the "Just Sit girlie boy shorts,"
it seems clear you're not shy about addressing sexuality and femininity (as
also suggested by DGD's name). Is this particularly important to you?
I am not
shy about sexuality. I don't live a monastic life, and I try to live my
sexuality within the principles of dharma. Of course, that can be tricky.
I also
think playfullness and humor have a place in practice. And if "sitting"
is the issue, what better place to put the reminder?
The "Just Sit" "girlie boy shorts"
So: how do people react to the boy shorts?
It's a very
popular item, and again: it strikes people. I'm not afraid to challenge
others or myself.
Do you think that the Dharma community should be addressing sexuality more?
I don't necessarily feel it is about the dharma
community lacking anything. We find what we need when we do.
On
the site you say that "Dharmagrrl has a commitment to challenging
ourselves, but not at the [expense] of others. Therefore we are always
seeking out socially and environmentally mindful manufacture of the
garments used for our designs." And you state that you would soon be
"introducing products made from organic cotton and sweatshop free." Have you in fact been able to make this happen, or is it perhaps kind
of a challenge for a start-up, indie venture like yours to buy and use
environmentally mindful materials like you'd like to?
My
vision is to have all DGD items be organic, sustainable, or recycled. As a
small business -- one which has yet to break even -- that is tricky. Being green
and mindful can be expensive. Many suppliers I've contacted about organics
have since ceased making them available, due to cost. Or, they've had long back orders or can't
guarantee product when I need it. But those things are turning around.
I
am working with a local woman who is an amazing seamstress, which I
am not. We are designing several bags, including a yoga mat bag, that
are made from used parachutes. They are awesome and should be available
by mid-to-late November.
I will also be carrying some new
bags that are designed and manufactured by a local business which are
made from recycled truck inner tubes, and they are totally bad-ass.
So
things are moving forward toward that vision. I constantly need to
remind myself that things do not always happen on my timeline, which is
usually for the better. And time is always something I desire more of,
hence some of my long-overdue site updates.
What other plans do you have for DGD?
I
currently have three new shirt designs, as the site suggests, and
several new bags that will be coming in within the next few weeks. I will also be carrying
some books to support the Prison Dharma Network, which provides
transformational tools and meditation/dharma support to incarcerated
youth and adults. It's an amazing organization, and I am so proud to
be a part of it.
Lastly: is the "Dharmagrrl" in the DGD logo actually some kind of
self-portrait, or does she just embody a "dharmagrrl" as you envision
her, or what?
A little bit of everything, but
more of an expression and ideal than an actual person. It began as a
dharma version of the cult fave, Tank Girl.
You know: in your face, fearless, impish, and girly.
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