Sorry for the relative quiet, y’all. Between a cold and the realities of working in the new economy, it’s been a tough buncha days. To try and make it up to you, here’s a big bag of Dharma-Burgers.

First up is one from stalwart reader Jordan F. This little item is the “Scarpa Zen Approach” sneaker. Dig the ‘Burgery flavor of the copy they’re using to try and sell this thing: “Reach the summit of calm in the Scarpa Zen Approach Shoe. The supple all leather upper balances the burly Vibram Spyder sole, forming an unparalleled equilibrium of foot comfort and confidence. Reinforced arches and EVA heel cushioning comfort your steps on the path of one-pointedness. When you lose focus, molded toecaps protect you from meditation-disturbing stubs against inert rocks and roots. Sure you could sit in lotus position all day trying to achieve Samadhi while stern Japanese monks whack your back with a stick. You can also lace up the Scarpa Zen Approach Shoe and reach peace hiking through Aspen groves.”

Yeah, okay. Whatever.

Next up: the unstoppable Sam DeWitt points us to this New York Times review of the NBC show, Life, commenting, simply, “That all-purpose word crops up again.” That “all-purpose word,” of course, is Zen, but at least Life actually has something to do with Zen, as the main character studied Buddhism in prison. For more, read the review, or check out the Horse’s previous coverage (including a pretty interesting little link).

The Mighty Sam also sends on web-ad for FRS energy drink, with this notation: “just a random web advert luring unsuspecting consumers with the power of the lotus position (or some such thinking, I am sure).” That sounds about right to me! Nothing says “cure-all” like a sexually ambiguous meditator in silhouette. Am I right, people?

But does Sam stop there? No! Because he’s SAM DeWITT!

He also sends on this cover of The Economist from the issue on sale from the end of January, into the beginning of February. Here, a Buddha’s eye is meant to not only register “shock” at the grand sweep of the global economic crisis, but serves as a stand-in for, apparently, the entirety of Asia.

They used to call this sort of exoticized cultural shorthand “Orientalism,” didn’t they? Well, I call it a Dharma-Burger.

Next up, Marnie from The Enlightenment Blog points us to the “Buddha Board,” writing,  “Here is a Dharma-Burger tidbit. Seems to be some kind of painting easel wherein the painting vanishes after a certain amount of time. I haven’t tried the product but the flash introduction lets you paint with your mouse in an interesting way.” Frankly, I can’t believe I haven’t covered this thing before, as I have played with it, and think it’s just great. Try it out online.

And how about a “24-carat gold, 7.5mm-tall statue of Buddha”? Need one of those? Well, good thing it exists, right? The market has spoken! (Via AP.) As our friend Miriam writes, “Wow. Man. What an insult (?) to the concept and to Vajra Regent Ozel Tendzin’s book title?!”

Lastly, I would be absolutely remiss if I didn’t point you to this ad — and the (typically) excellent commentary about it — found over at NOT2WO.

Thanks, everyone, for your contributions. And for reading — hope you’ve enjoyed gnawing on these ‘Burgers.

Thanks to reader Chris M., who sent us a shot of his altar as a submission to the Horse’s ongoing feature, Altar Madness. Says Chris:

“This is a fantastic idea and I have really enjoyed seeing everyone’s altars!

“My altar is in an area of my house that is as close to a cave as can be without actually being in one. My shrineroom is located in a windowless room between our upstairs hallway and our master bedroom. Note the lack of carpeting! The altar itself is a small dresser bought from a home goods store for about $70. The drawers are perfect for keeping supplies like matches and incense. I have a set of seven offering bowls across the front (coinciding with the seven-limb prayer). I have a votive candle holder with sand that holds incense. Next to that is a small tea candle in a holder. On the left is a picture of the Great Stupa in Colorado (sangha). The center of course contains a statue of the Buddha (self-explanatory). On the left is a copy of the refuge practice composed by Sakyong Mipham (dharma text). On the wall behind the altar are pictures of Chogyam Trungpa and Sakyong Mipham. The table holding my chant book is actually a seiza bench I built a couple of years ago before I had a cushion to sit on. The whole thing is sitting on a bamboo mat my wife found at some store somewhere. A couple of other points of interest are the fake plant (can’t have a real one since no natural light enters the room) and the dog-hair covered zabuton. My wife tends to leave the door open (despite my protests to close it) and one of my dogs loves to curl up on it.

“I have some other stuff in the room including a thangka, a calligraphy with my Tibetan refuge name, and another fabric wall-hanging with some auspicious symbols. I have a bookshelf with all my dharma and other buddhism-related books. I also have a chair for sitting there and reading. The only complaint I have about my altar area is that it gets really stuffy when I light incense since there really is no ventilation. Also, it gets pretty hot up there in the summer so I have a small batter-operated fan to keep me cool. Despite the tough conditions I truly love being in this room. When I was recovering from back surgery, I went two months without being able to go upstairs and I really missed being able to go into this room and sit in front of my altar. It was a very special moment the first time I walked into this room after over 60-days downstairs!”

Glad you’re better, Chris, and thanks for sendin’. May you and your dog enjoy your sits.

To see more Altar Madness, just select that category from the Categories drop-down on the side of this page.