Thanks, for the zillionth time, to Konchog Norbu.

Thanks, Scott! And thank you, Mr. Pizza!

Notice the scare-quotes there? That’s because Efron’s not into the practice of Zen meditation, or anything to do with Buddhism, but rather, ZEN Foods. (Zen here stands for “Zero Effort Nutrition.”) According to The Daily Mail: “The 23-year-old star has been pictured carrying a Z.E.N.  Foods cooler bag as he left a Hollywood studio. Z.E.N. is a diet delivery service that helps stars eat calorie-controlled meals.”

And according to the Z.E.N. Foods website, Vanessa Hudgens (actress and supposed former flame of Zac) is into the diet, too.

Hey, why make Right Effort,* when you can instead make Zero Effort — and indulge in a big, heaping Dharma-Burger while you’re at it?

(*Link opens up a Dhamma talk on Right Effort by teacher and friend of the Horse Thanissaro Bhikkhu.)

Much gratitude to him for sending it.

(And he has some gratitude for you, too.)

Here‘s the host’s site — though it says he’s NOT a Buddhist, he’s said to have a “Zen-like quality” and you click on something that says “Begin Enlightenment” on the launch page to enter.

Zzzzzzz.

Thanks to the mighty Steve Silberman for passing it along.

So, Nation, what was it that Colbert was talking about? A run-down and video follow.Well, one of the most recent recipients of the “Colbert Bump” was author and food-and-democracy activist Raj Patel, who, it seems, fits the profile for Maitreya, the second coming of Buddha — at least as prophesied by Benjamin Creme of SHARE International. (You can easily Google Creme and his organization for more info, but you might think it telling, for example, that he strongly contended that crop circles — long known now to be hoaxes — are irrefutable evidence of UFOs.)

Creme had said in the past that his Maitreya — actually more a one-size-fits-all religious leader, rather than the specific future Buddha that is spoken of in some Buddhist legend and doctrine — would fit several criteria: he would be dark-skinned, born in 1972, would have traveled to London in 1977, and would sometimes speak with a stutter. All of this can, if fact, be said about Patel. That is, if you are willing to consider that Patel “tripped over a few words” on his recent Colbert Report appearance (as reported by the New York Times, and championed by Creme’s followers) amounts to him actually having a stutter.

Colbert, of course, delighted in uncovering the Prophesied One: “I’m not just a king-maker, I’m a god-maker!” And, of course, he had Patel on the show tonight. Patel denied that he is Maitreya. Conveniently, this was another of Creme’s criteria.

Though enjoying himself, Patel smartly said that what our religious energy would be best put to use by not following leaders. “We should think for ourselves… asking, Why is there poverty? Why is there hunger?”

He may not be the future Buddha, but hey, at least Patel understands what really matters.

Here’s the video:

“I’ve heard tales about people being struck by satori in a supermarket aisle, but I never expected it to happen to me. While strolling through the local food discounter, mulling over the mystical experiences of the weekend, I suddenly found the fruits of years of zazen practice right within reach: Satori! I grabbed four packs, so I can have satori each day for the rest of the week. ”

I can’t find the video online yet, but will post here when I do. You can see a screenshot, thankfully, thanks to good ol’ Many Flakes, One Bowl.

(BTW, “Many Flakes, One Bowl” has to be the best Buddhist blog name, no?)