Really, what the hell is going on here?

…From the website JustJaredJR:

“Miley Cyrus sported loveDBM’s cute Buddha bracelet during her recent Wonder World 2009 Tour. JJJ fell in love with the bracelet so much that we’re giving THREE readers a chance to win one!”

If any of this means something to you, fill me in. (Miley can’t be a Buddhist — this is just Buddha-bling — right?) Or click here if you wanna try and win one.

Thanks to previous contributor Norbert Hübner for this take on the Japanese word for enlightenment. He writes:

“I’ve heard tales about people being struck by satori in a supermarket aisle, but I never expected it to happen to me. While strolling through the local food discounter, mulling over the mystical experiences of the weekend, I suddenly found the fruits of years of zazen practice right within reach: Satori! I grabbed four packs, so I can have satori each day for the rest of the week. ”

…they just keep coming in. Here are just some of the latest for your dubious pleasure.

Of course there’s the near-obligatory weed reference, this one on a t-shirt, via herspiral: “Here’s something we found online…yikes…”

…and another bit of faux-dharmic financial marketing, via reader Michael D:

“I love your site, and so I have a ‘Dharma-Burger’ I just found for you. Their cringe-worthy commercial came on TV yesterday, and so I looked up their site– pretty interesting way to market this!”

Other readers also sent in word of Zendough’s existence. Arielle K, for her part, describes Zendough as:

…More Dharma Burger in one place than I have ever seen:

“By offering you insight and wisdom about your credit reports and score, debt standing, and identity theft risk, the path to achieve your goals and master your finances will be smoother…  gain wisdom and confidence and proactively manage your finances… zendough.com can …help you achieve financial peace of mind. …Learn more about taking the first steps down the path to financial enlightenment at www.achievezendough.com“

Reader Jim B wrote of Zendough: “I actually had to look twice to make sure it wasn’t a parody — sadly, I think it’s real.”

…But reader Guttorm G writes with some darker stuff:

“Thanks for your wonderful site. Of course I’ve heard of socially engaged Buddhism, but it’s normally on the activists’ side. The Copenhagen police, known for their brutality, used this uniform when imprisoning activists during the climate cop15.”

[Though clearly not Buddhist, the emblem here does resemble the Wheel of Dharma.]

Guttorm goes on to write: “I was [recently] studying in Kyoto and I went to one of the 5 main Rinzai Zen temples (as well as a world heritage site), Tenryu-Ji. I’m attaching a picture of what I saw. I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry, but its certainly not what i expected”:

Laugh or cry? I don’t know. But if, somehow, Tenryu-Ji is seeing at least a little bit of money from this, that would help. …Nescafe ads at Zen temples — a sign of something terrible, or just a sign of the times?

More to come, and thanks.

Via a press release:

Steve Madden, a leading designer and marketer of fashion footwear and accessories for women, men and children, today announced that it has completed its acquisition of privately held Big Buddha, Inc., a designer and marketer of fashion-forward handbags. Founded by Jeremy Bassan in 2003, Big Buddha sells its trend-right handbags to specialty retailers, better department stores and online retailers. Big Buddha had net sales in 2009 of approximately $13 million (unaudited).

That’s one expensive Dharma-Burger.

Yes, even PerezHilton.com posted this video, writing: “LOLs! In an attempt to attract new, younger followers to Buddhism, Buddhist monks in Japan are trying a new approach – rapping! Check out the HIGHlarity of the hip hop monks…” (And comments there have been positive, too, so far.)

What do you think of Mr. Happiness and his drink-pouring extended posse? The more traditional of us may balk, but he’s doubled attendance at his temple. Can you argue with those results? (And really, is this all so “HIGHlarious”?)

Have you seen it? It takes place in a sort of stand-in for the Potala Palace, completing the scene with prayer wheel, devotees and a levitating semi-Dalai Lamaesque figure. Meditation, it seems, is not necessary when you have Red Bull.

I can’t find the video online yet, but will post here when I do. You can see a screenshot, thankfully, thanks to good ol’ Many Flakes, One Bowl.

(BTW, “Many Flakes, One Bowl” has to be the best Buddhist blog name, no?)

Via PR Newswire:

Borrowing the Zen practices of minimalism and focus, [St. Louis Tea Part movement co-founder Bill] Hennessy helps conservatives channel their anger and concern into positive steps toward reclaiming liberty.

“After the 2008 elections, I realized that shouting alone was useless. I also realized that we on the right were fighting too many battles at once. So I started to write myself a letter, and that letter turned into this book.”

Zen Conservative, the new book by St. Louis Tea Party leader Bill Hennessy, targets the millions of Americans who are fed up with government growth, regulatory intrusion, and unfathomable borrowing and spending in Washington, DC. But rather than just ratcheting up the volume, Hennessy’s “Zen Conservatism” aims toward effectiveness. The book advances the 5-2-1 method Hennessy has used to help the St. Louis Tea Party stay focused, engaged, and effective in issues like the proposed takeover of healthcare, the cap and trade tax scheme, and the undue influence of Andy Stern’s SEIU union.

Well, this sure isn’t my cup of tea. But if it’s yours, here’s the website.

Love this video from Rev. Koyo S. Kubose of the Bright Dawn Institute for American Buddhism — on the meaning of one of Japan’s most pervasive (and cool) Dharma-Burgers, the Daruma (or Bodhidharma, or Damo) doll. In his series of videos — some are just for young kids, all are playful — the camera is static, but the good reverend makes up for that by being so animated himself.

More videos from Rev. Koyo here.

Again: sometimes Dharma-Burgers aren’t bad things. And again, other times they just might not be fit for consumption by humans. Via CNNGo/Asia:

“I know nothing about business but I know about pen,” said American Michael Roach at a talk given at Olympic House this week.

Confused? This is the voice of enlightenment speaking and if you don’t understand, you’re clearly way too far from nirvana.

Michael Roach is a Tibetan Buddhist and the first Westerner to ever qualify for the geshe degree at Sera Monastery. He is an authority on getting rich through grasping Buddhist principals and his unorthodox behaviour, such as wearing the robes of a monk yet living with his female “spiritual” partner, has caused him to run into trouble with the office of the Dalai Lama.

Controversial though he may be, this man seems to have gotten something right and he has US$250 million to prove it.

Roach set up Andin International Diamond Corporation and his bestseller “The Diamond Cutter: The Buddha on Strategies for Managing Your Business and Your Life” was read by the likes of Warren Buffet. [...]

Roach’s two-day karmic retreat in Hong Kong from December 11-13 is to help Hong Kongers “make money, get young and also help to find a nice partner.”

If you’re feeling queasy after reading this but still want to know something about the Buddha’s teachings on prosperity, here’s the thing for you. And, it’s less than fourteen bucks. Now, that’s a good business deal.

Now back online: comedian Arj Barker’s video’d skewering of spiritual materialist Buddhists. It’s not always spot-on, but still…

Thanks to Jesse from Shambhala Sun for the tip!

Ethan Nichtern also posted his thoughts about “The Sickest Buddhist” over on the One City blog, when the video first debuted. Check that out here.