Sorry for the relative quiet, y’all. Between a cold and the realities of working in the new economy, it’s been a tough buncha days. To try and make it up to you, here’s a big bag of Dharma-Burgers.

First up is one from stalwart reader Jordan F. This little item is the “Scarpa Zen Approach” sneaker. Dig the ‘Burgery flavor of the copy they’re using to try and sell this thing: “Reach the summit of calm in the Scarpa Zen Approach Shoe. The supple all leather upper balances the burly Vibram Spyder sole, forming an unparalleled equilibrium of foot comfort and confidence. Reinforced arches and EVA heel cushioning comfort your steps on the path of one-pointedness. When you lose focus, molded toecaps protect you from meditation-disturbing stubs against inert rocks and roots. Sure you could sit in lotus position all day trying to achieve Samadhi while stern Japanese monks whack your back with a stick. You can also lace up the Scarpa Zen Approach Shoe and reach peace hiking through Aspen groves.”

Yeah, okay. Whatever.

Next up: the unstoppable Sam DeWitt points us to this New York Times review of the NBC show, Life, commenting, simply, “That all-purpose word crops up again.” That “all-purpose word,” of course, is Zen, but at least Life actually has something to do with Zen, as the main character studied Buddhism in prison. For more, read the review, or check out the Horse’s previous coverage (including a pretty interesting little link).

The Mighty Sam also sends on web-ad for FRS energy drink, with this notation: “just a random web advert luring unsuspecting consumers with the power of the lotus position (or some such thinking, I am sure).” That sounds about right to me! Nothing says “cure-all” like a sexually ambiguous meditator in silhouette. Am I right, people?

But does Sam stop there? No! Because he’s SAM DeWITT!

He also sends on this cover of The Economist from the issue on sale from the end of January, into the beginning of February. Here, a Buddha’s eye is meant to not only register “shock” at the grand sweep of the global economic crisis, but serves as a stand-in for, apparently, the entirety of Asia.

They used to call this sort of exoticized cultural shorthand “Orientalism,” didn’t they? Well, I call it a Dharma-Burger.

Next up, Marnie from The Enlightenment Blog points us to the “Buddha Board,” writing,  “Here is a Dharma-Burger tidbit. Seems to be some kind of painting easel wherein the painting vanishes after a certain amount of time. I haven’t tried the product but the flash introduction lets you paint with your mouse in an interesting way.” Frankly, I can’t believe I haven’t covered this thing before, as I have played with it, and think it’s just great. Try it out online.

And how about a “24-carat gold, 7.5mm-tall statue of Buddha”? Need one of those? Well, good thing it exists, right? The market has spoken! (Via AP.) As our friend Miriam writes, “Wow. Man. What an insult (?) to the concept and to Vajra Regent Ozel Tendzin’s book title?!”

Lastly, I would be absolutely remiss if I didn’t point you to this ad — and the (typically) excellent commentary about it — found over at NOT2WO.

Thanks, everyone, for your contributions. And for reading — hope you’ve enjoyed gnawing on these ‘Burgers.