Thanks to reader Arielle for this little gem. She writes:

“Little did you know that karma IS indeed LITERALLY your spiritual bank account!

“That’s right! Chase and MasterCard have teamed up to allow you to quantify your moral value while covering your ass during times of financial crisis! Now you can delay personal bankruptcy and still sleep soundly at night, all while perpetuating a gross misunderstanding of Buddhist philosophy. Sign up now and we’ll send you a $200 cash bonus which you can use to consume away your problems, and flee from the impending doom of the present moment!

(I love you guys.)
-Arielle”

Thanks, Arielle. The feeling’s mutual.